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   "I didn't call because I didn't know what to say..." 

   "I would've sent something, but I didn't want to send the wrong thing..." 

 "I didn't walk over and hug her because I didn't want to make her uncomfortable..."   

How to Support Your Friend or Loved One...


Birth- Help Create Memories

Practical Support

  • Coordinate a Meal Train or Take Them a Meal

  • Offer to clean their house/do laundry during pregnancy or postpartum

  • Offer to watch the older children so the parents can go talk about life, go on a date, go to counseling, or to a prenatal appointment alone.

  • Say you're sending over some food & that you'll leave it on the front porch (less pressure).

  • Offer to support her by cleaning the house/doing dishes/laundry if that feels ok to her. Tell her that there's no pressure to even come out of the bedroom. 

  • Get some friends/church ladies together and go in on 4 weekly massages.

  • Offer to take the kids for the today, so she can rest. 

What To Say... What To Do...

  • Yes it's ok to call... If she doesn't answer, leave a lovely voicemail sharing your condolences.

  • Send a simple text. Not once, but every week or two, for a 3 months

  • "Thinking about you today friend..."


  • "I'm praying for your sweet heart..."


  • "I'm here when you're ready to talk...Is today a good day?"

  • Offer to bring her over some tea and hear all about your beautiful birth... and anything else she's ready to talk about. 

  • Offer to come run her a lovely hot bath. Bring some essential oils, offer to add to the tub. Make her some tea & set beside the tub for her.

Let us, in this and in all sorrows, be met by your lovingkindness and consoled by your hope. 


For yours, O Father, is the kingdon, and the power, and the glorious redemption of all our losses. 

Even this one."                                                              ~  Every Moment Holy, Volume II

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